xiia0boii1992.blogspot.com

2012-02-01T00:29:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you promise someone forever but it doesn't work out that way.

Wants

2012-01-31T03:00:00.001+08:00

A labtop bag

new shoe

new bag

new room

copic markers

You have the rest of your life to figure it out

2012-01-30T05:16:00.001+08:00

Maybe i should take it slow.

Starting today, you enjoy life.

2012-01-25T03:18:00.002+08:00

After raining? Sunshine comes after that.

Its 3am in the morning!!! I'm supposed to finish up my RH planning but here I am editing pictures and not doing anything about it. Kinda stuck but I really got no extra time to complete this pile of shit load. Well due to procrastination, I still got loads of work to do. Le sigh.

I really need to do what I like and stop doing things for the sake of doing things. And I really need to stay happy. I can't wait for Feb actually. Not that January's been treating me bad.. Cause I'm looking forward for P3. and few weeks from now , I gonna regret saying this. Next month is the month that I HIT THE BIG 2!! I cannot imagine that I will ever hit the 20s but its coming way faster than what I imagined it to be.. I still can't believed that time passes by so fast. We need to cherish all the people around us. You will never know when our time is up.

Anyway, Feb would be quite an interesting month I know:)

Something random, I think being a designer we need to constantly think of ways to solve problems. Like find a better solution instead of the solution that are currently being used. And also need to constantly voice out our ideas. I always felt that my ideas always been thinked before by other people. That's why i always keeping things to myself. This shall stop i guess. You will never know that your idea could be the solution. HA HA HA k it doesnt make sense .. ha ha ha

Here's some of the pictures for the week..

CHINESE NEW YEAR DAY . went to east coast for early dinner:)

TOP TABLE, NOVELL BDAY!:) RHD UNITE!

STARTERS

SALMON

NOVELL MAKE HER WISHES

DESERT!!

MAINCOURSE

Free log cake from Hageen Dazs and double pay day today!!!!:)

I wish i could be normal.

2012-01-21T15:10:00.003+08:00

I hate today. Its one of those days I feel extremely low and there's nothing I can do to make me feel a lil better.. Maybe a jog at the park later would do some cheering up. I hate these days sometimes. It always resulted to a very major headache. I really need to finish up my assignment. :'(

Pictures update for the week.

Happy Birthday Janniza:)

Reflections

2012-01-16T02:59:00.004+08:00

Memories of my childhood

3am in the morning and here I am wide awake. I am planning to stay awake and go to school by taking the 1st bus. lots of work need to be done but here i am doing nothing.

Hope that this year would be a very memorable year for me like 2011 did.
Its funny when I keep saying don't take people for granted but in the end I'm doing what i told myself not to do. 2011 been a great year but filled with so many doubts every here and there. Made New friends and lost a few friends, sadly. I find myself feeling lost. Lost in a sense that I don't know what I want to do with my life. Lost about whats lies in the future. At certain point of time, I felt that the course that I am pursuing in give me no interest to what I really wanna do in life. But when I asked myself what I want to do, I find no answer.

Maybe one day, I will find what I really want in life. Maybe one day I will find what I really like to do for the rest of my life. For now, I shall keep finding...

Live everyday as if its your last. 2012 going to be yet another fast year.
I need to keep up with life.

on a side note, I kinda miss my secondary school best friends. Well I miss having this long conversation with a few of them and it kinda sucks cause some of them, we're not even in a talking term. How I wish I could have the courage..

The times when I dont have any work to do..

2011 sticker crazeee.. now back to simple:)

HAHAHA retarded face.

2012-01-13T01:39:00.002+08:00

It came to a point in my life that I realised that i don't need a large group of friends.. those few closed ones are enough to make my life just fine.

2012-01-07T02:46:00.001+08:00

shall start blogging soon again.
Felt really nice to talk to jaslyn. really just cleared the heavy downpour that i been feeling every since few weeks ago. Friends like this rly hard to find.

2012-01-05T23:17:00.001+08:00

This heart is aching and its telling me to give up.Everything.

2012-01-02T03:11:00.002+08:00

Cheers to the new year!
Have a blessed year and make this your best year

OVERPROTECTED

2011-12-14T07:11:00.001+08:00

what am i gonna do with my life? I will find out one day.

sober

2011-12-08T10:10:00.003+08:00

Is this another relapse? I will pull through...I know i can... just like the other time...

2011-12-07T13:29:00.004+08:00

I've been very jaded lately and it came to a point that i felt very hopeless. Sometime i wonder if I am rly that horrible as a person. I really hate myself. Maybe I am a bad person. Thats why i always being treated second best. Thats why I always never been taken seriously.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

- Steve Jobs

(source-raissa blog)

Transcript

When I look back on my life, it’s not that I don’t want to see things exactly as they happened, it’s just that I prefer to remember them in an artistic way. And truthfully, the lie of it all is much more honest because I invented it.

Clinical psychology tells us arguably that trauma is the ultimate killer. Memories are not recycled like atoms and particles in quantum physics; they can be lost forever. It’s sort of like my past is an unfinished painting and as the artist of that painting, I must fill in all the ugly holes and make it beautiful again.

It’s not that I’ve been dishonest, it’s just that I loathe reality.

For example, those nurses – they’re wearing next season Calvin Klein, and so am I. And the shoes – custom Giuseppe Zanotti. I tipped their gauze caps to the side like Parisian berets because I think it’s romantic, and I also believe that mint will be very big in fashion next Spring.

Check out this nurse on the right, she’s got a great ass. Bam.

The truth is, back then at the clinic, they only wore those funny hats to keep the blood out of their hair. And that girl on the left – she ordered gummy bears and a knife a couple of hours ago. They only gave her the gummy bears.

I’d wished they’d only given me the gummy bears.

From lady gaga marry the night prelude.

(source:http://jayleif.com/)

2011-12-06T22:39:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna be a star... you know why? Because I have nothing left to lose.- Lady Gaga

2011-11-16T11:32:00.001+08:00

1 hour extra really will do me good for this. Sigh.

Live forever or die trying.

2011-11-14T07:27:00.003+08:00

Sigh dunno why all i wanna do is sleep.

1 more week of this 2 damn modules. I KEN DO IT.

Anyway In time is a very nice show to catch.

2011-11-12T02:03:00.002+08:00

I missed 11/11/11 11:11 ytd.

Anyway i rly hope life's gets better. Sometimes I rly dont understand how life works..
and yes i have issue people talking in a language i cant seems to understand.
And yes clearly im no poker face cause its never fail to show how much i hate it just by looking at my face.

2011-11-03T05:05:00.000+08:00

It came to a point tht I can't be bothered abt those things that used to affect me deeply. I live nt to pleased others.

2011-10-29T23:49:00.000+08:00

"It's like you're screaming but no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. And when it's over and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so you can have the good." - we found love

2011-10-29T13:17:00.000+08:00

This too shall pass.

2011-10-28T01:24:00.002+08:00

Don't take me for granted.

rly like this quote..

Expectation is the root of all heartache.

somehow i cannot put my thoughts in place. This sems rly need to focus. Rly.

gn.

All you need is love.

2011-10-27T01:37:00.003+08:00

Rly a nice movie to catch. Nearly teared. :(

A rly sad quote.

Sam: You don't know what it is when you try, and you try, and you try and you never get there! »

Sometimes i felt like that too. . .

2011-10-23T03:39:00.001+08:00

dont feel good tonight.

I'm alone not lonely. Get the different.

2011-10-22T13:40:00.004+08:00

Dexter Mayhew: I'm so much better when you're around.- One day

One day was a good and sad movie. No regrets watching it with Yide and Vans.
Meet yide to have his late lunch at little india cause he woke up damn damn late. We supposed to meet at 1 plus but end up meeting at after 3. Off to meet Jaslyn at her work place and also weehung,esther and vans. ^^ gave them surprise visit. ME and Yide walk alot. HAHAHHA
Quite sad that I didn't rly get to psycho them to watch Ghost movie. WE ALR BOUGHT THE TICKETS but in the end change to One day .. sigh..

Thanks wh for the free drink^^

Jas with her dot HAHA

ANYWAY school starting in 2 days time and I will be having night class.. Le sigh.. But so happy that all my happy friends are taking the same module as me. And I gonna stuck with wh with every modules we taking until the end of the semz hehehe sad for him HAHAHA. Welfare tghr, now same class tghr HAHAHA

We found our love in a hopeless place.

2011-10-21T00:38:00.004+08:00

I WANNNN

Meet up with taufuq and also Jolene for hair therapy eh ^^ my hair didnt really changed. I just did a hair treatment for my dry hair haha and taufiq change his hair to ash grey and jol did purple highlights. I was very contemplating whether if i should take Transnational studies or not and took me until today to decide since felix,twt,taufiq and all of them were telling me that i wont regret eh. Hmmm so tmr i gonna just submit the form ^^

Few days ago went to work with twt,jj and sa'ad for a 1 day stock take at GIANT. WE HAD GOOD FOOD.. AND i was working with twt!! damn fun cause with her around wont be sianz hehe.Below is out breakfast after 1 whole night of working !!!

Taufiq hair after bleaching haha

HEHE

ME and weehung visited little india. AND the we go and walked around that area to find his old school ah. Like reliving his childhood sia haha he like damn happy and all! haha

TWT WORKING HAHAHHA

heheh meeting yide i think tmr hahahaha happy day ^^

2011-10-17T02:05:00.001+08:00

I dont love.

2011-10-16T02:32:00.001+08:00

k good night.:)
white tiger,penguin,sea lion,giraffe and monkey LOVE

sometimes you dont make a sound..

2011-10-15T07:50:00.001+08:00

Hiii. Otw to zoo now! 1st time that I am early meeting the rest! Heh I like this feeling! had a dream that felt so real as usual but hope it won't be cause I don't rly like that dream.. But as for now I forgot almost all of the detail. So it doesn't rly matter ah.. Hahaha I really like waking up early k.. It felts so good ha ha. K. Hope to see a lot of animals okay!!! Felt that being a zoo keeper is my new dream job! I like to see those animalsz! They make me happy and make a lot of people happy! Haha

Okay xoxo bye!
Xiia0boii1992 signing off.. Hahaha wtf

Never say you CAN'T

2011-10-15T00:18:00.004+08:00

Waiting for my hair to grow to this length ^^

Planning to dye my hair into ash green by end of this yearr ^^
surfer hair yo. HAHA

HAHHAA sianz short black hair .

(source:tumblr)
HEHEHE OMG VISITING THE ZOO TMR.. eh wait in a few more hours time yo. HAHA

WOHOOS i wanna see gorilla,panda,tiger,girraffeee,monkey and alsooo the cute cute animal idk the name ah. HEH..

GOOD NIGHT... hope next week i can spend time doing my sketch book and finished up my very old old book that i started 2 yrs ago.. lool

Sum up the holidays

2011-10-14T03:00:00.003+08:00

retarded HAHAHA

Its funny that I hate holidays cause it always lead me to not doing anything productive but in the end every holiday really was a good one including this one somehow I guess. Well at least I met up with old friends and also have a few good outing with friends but quite sad ah cause i wont be meeting some other friends that i really wanna have a good catch up session with :( Anyway, lets pictures do the talking :)

Eric really looked like gorillaz ah sia

Woooo love this pictureee

Long time ago..

Long time agooo.. we should meet up soon eh to take picturess

Old friend :)

Starting today.

2011-10-12T18:41:00.003+08:00

starbucks after that.

I was facilitating this group for the event that i work last week. heh they got 8th position ah. HAHA not bad.

Supper with eric the other day.

Bored with my hair but its either i cut it short or leave it to grow longer.. I am such in dilemma. 1 week left for the holiday. I'm kinda excited for the start of the new sems but this too shall pass.. we shall see..

Lets nature do its wonder.

2011-10-12T01:08:00.001+08:00

A view that I am so used to looking at when i was growing up.

Happy for a moment.

2011-10-09T01:37:00.003+08:00

Happy days always end fast for me. Oh God, only you know how much this heart ache. It hurts to a point that its so painful to breathe sometimes. Things gonna change a lot in the coming few months and I don't know how i gonna get through this. I felt so weak inside and outside. Really, I'm not up for it. Not now.

Its sucks to be me sometimes cause I cant stay happy for long. People told me to man up but try to be in my shoe for a few seconds and see what i see, you will know. its not that easy. People always say leave your past behind you but what if it keeps coming back and haunt you, every day and every seconds. Its not funny anymore.

but i will get through this, like i always do.. i know i will..

Regrets and mistakes, they are memories made.

2011-10-06T22:19:00.002+08:00

Today clearly was not the best day of the holiday. Apart from the result, I was alil down thanks too the people around me but it got better anyway. Thats the reason why i dont like staying at home. Its like a war zone.

2011-10-05T03:41:00.000+08:00

rly hope this feeling stops. maybe it would go away like before. sometimes i wonder if theres somewhere out there feeling this way.

Waiting

2011-10-05T02:31:00.004+08:00

Am really looking forward to a few more highlights of my holiday which are Clique dinner ,Zoo trip, and also the not yet plan halloween party with rhd mates just before school starts. Really hoped that all of these events would be a good one. The holiday had been going pretty fine. Met my secondary school clique for lunch after sooon long. And this is the 1st time that all went. FULL ATTENDANCE. Really happy to see them. Oh and i met Jiaen after so long too. Really missed the secondary school days where we could talk forever and share our sad sorrow together. The DSC SUBCOMM refresh was good. Really had fun with the subcomms and also my fellow maincoms:). Jol's party was fine. having to see people's drunk was quite a something idk eh. anyway this is getting was too draggy. I shall stop. GN tmr working in the morning. HAVE a good day ah.

2011-10-01T02:05:00.001+08:00

V scared for tmr's event. HOPE it goes smoothly. :\

2011-09-29T01:59:00.001+08:00

Yeah, sometimes, I fall but I get up,
And it takes a while but I get there in my own time.
Sometimes it feels like I'm raining on the inside,
And all the things that I'm trying I don't get it right.

I need to be strong. I need to

I don't want anything to do with relationships.

2011-09-28T02:18:00.003+08:00

Us After a whole day event :)

Need to start blogging as a daily basic to help me with my rusty vocab.

2011-09-27T15:18:00.002+08:00

Just had the most enjoyable day yesterday with my fellow lovable maincoms and subcoms. Im so happy to see everyone enjoying themselves to the good food that they bbq and end of with a mini jam and hop sessions. Hope this Saturday would be an awesome time if not better.

Lately I been feeling rather disappointed on the choices I made and also chances that I let it slipped by. Its like you are so near to the goal and then you let it go just like that. Its sucks to constantly feel jaded and you need to put on a cover to tell people that you are alright. And the worst part is you cant tell anyone about it cause nobody bothered to listen. Anyway I hope this holiday I can really put off all this negative energy off and really get back to my goal and really sticking by it.

I had sworn to myself that I'm

Content with loneliness

2011-09-14T01:52:00.003+08:00

Even when i'm walking on a wire
Even when I set myself on fire
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible
Every day I try to look my best
Even though inside i'm such a mess
Why do I always feel invisible, invisible

You know whats scares me? having relapse again.
yea, that's scares me most. Its like you're dead but still breathing.
like youre stuck in a dark hole and you cannot breathe but youre still alive.

Never felt so shitty about everything for so long. I know im digging my own grave but every part of me asking me to sleep... maybe it gets better cause tmr morning would be another new day.
So much stuff going thru my head.. sometimes i wonder maybe because im just not good enough for everyone and even for myself. I keep trying but maybe im not a good person. Sometimes i wonder if i disappeared, life would just be the same for others around me. fuck school work. Maybe thats the reason why i been feeling so small. I have not been producing any good work lately this is making me think twice if im cut to be a designer. I'm starting to feel if im jack of all trades, master at none. I miss handsome.:( I miss how i can just text you and everything feel alriight again.. i miss having a friend that i could just pour out my troubles to and not judge. Maybe its my fault. All i do is pushing people away. Maybe if only im chinese, things would be different. but its my choice. I choose this path. Maybe this too shall pass. Maybe this is just a test from God. Maybe this will all be good. Maybe this is all lesson learnt. Maybe one day i will looked back and say, now i understand. But now I dont understand why life never fail to give a sad face at the end of the day. I know this pile of shit im writing doesnt make sense. sry for those who bothered to read. Gn.

2011-09-12T01:54:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder how does it feels to be on top of the world with no worries.
I guess its a long way to get there though.

2011-09-06T12:33:00.002+08:00

Lately I'm depressed and came to a point that it feels like 4 years ago. k

2011-09-03T04:27:00.002+08:00

I push people away because i’m afraid if they get to know me too well, they’ll get tired of me. -anonymous

2011-08-31T01:12:00.001+08:00

really really fuck my insecurities. FUCK YOU FOR RUINING MY LIFE. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. RLY. FUCK YOU . serious. FUCK YOU. EVERYDAY I SUFFER thanks to you.

2011-08-05T00:08:00.002+08:00

I feel like dying. CAUSE i have Quite alot of work to be done. Namecare, Resume,cover letter, Company research and also My layout for those stuff.I still need someone to vett my resume and cover letter OMG DIE . K sleep now. tmr then do.

BANGZ

2011-08-04T06:50:00.002+08:00

4th day of the fasting month. Here I am wide awake planning to do my research but got distracted by all those silly things that im not supposed to be doing.

Have a great day to those who stumble upon my rusty blog :)

May God bless you all :)

Back to basic

2011-07-25T01:22:00.002+08:00

Hi bye.

2011-07-20T05:30:00.003+08:00

Life must get better sooner or later right? Bad days cant possible be forever.
Sometimes I wish i could cry to sleep and forget everything.

I hope this motto of " Failure is just a rehearsal; success is the main event." will keep me going.

I miss being in a happy family.

I think you don't know how much you have affected and changed me. But you know this heart ache every time.
I never know someone could be so heartless as you.

2011-07-04T23:18:00.004+08:00

I miss being truly happy without any worries.
It seems like I cant, not now..

I miss having a friend that i could open up to.. well just having the conversation of you listening to me ranting and me listening to you talking about life.

i need to be stronger than this.
this too shall pass...

I like my beats fast, and my bass.down.low.▲

2011-06-25T15:45:00.001+08:00

2011-06-22T00:22:00.003+08:00

tell me why i am ugly?

K work been rather okay. Holiday's been fine. Shall not complain. Finally life been pretty boring but rather fine. I'm fine with it. :)))

Hair can you please grow faster ya.

2011-06-18T22:03:00.001+08:00

Can we be a family again? im tired of all this shit. Its feel like world war 3 everyday and im giving up. I just want everything to be okay again. :'(

2011-06-18T03:26:00.001+08:00

will update this lil space of mine soon:)

2011-05-31T00:34:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i wish i could forget everything that happened so that i wont haunt me every night. I'm tired.

2011-05-25T01:27:00.000+08:00

Its been so long since i had a great time with the clique.

2011-05-13T01:50:00.000+08:00

this is why I always pushing people away when I get too close to someone.
this is why I am always second best
this is why I never trust anyone
this is why I am never good enough for myself, for my family or for anyone.

You know whats scares me? having relapse again.
yea, that's scares me most. Its like you're dead but still breathing.
like youre stuck in a dark hole and you cannot breathe but youre still alive.

because i have to believe i am here for a reason.. but right now i dont know.. but i keep searching..

hate those days when you felt like you want to shut the world out and just be left alone.

formspring.me

2011-05-02T00:24:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/thatsnaqib

Selfish?

2011-04-06T23:28:00.002+08:00

Meet up with astiana and mia just awhile ago for a last minute picnic trip to the botanical garden. If this was the last week of the holiday I think its was nice wrap up to the short holiday.
anyway, Had a long chat with A yesterday about everything under the sun. How i wish I have friends like her by my side at all times who I can talk to almost anything and i can be myself without being judge..

kay shall stop here.

till den,goodbye.

2011-04-06T14:14:00.001+08:00

Today gonna be a good day I KNOW

its something like the movies..

2011-04-04T15:27:00.000+08:00

Camp ended not long ago.. I think it was the best camp so far! Had lots of fun with my camp mates! Juanuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! :) these few days been going out to meet awesome friends!!! But I hate the fact that I'm broke! Le sigh! I wish money can drop down from heaven laaaa

Otw to get my contacts now! And meeting the clique later for dinner :) hope today would be a goood day! There's few days beeen fine!

I think life gets better if you do not think about the neg stuff that much!

Gonnna spam gossip girl once I reach home later at night!!!!

I know you love me, xoxo

do u think Yide is handsome?

2011-04-04T13:14:00.001+08:00

DUH!! THE MOST HANDSOME FRIEND EVER KNOWN TO MANKIND.

Ask me anything

wai you so hot? (;

2011-04-04T13:12:00.001+08:00

HEHE I like this type of question. Cause Im born like that ya:)

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2011-04-04T01:37:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/thatsnaqib

You dance very nice lei (Y)

2011-04-03T00:50:00.001+08:00

shit shy THANK U!!!:))

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2011-04-01T13:24:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/thatsnaqib

Day 05 - A picture of your Evening

2011-03-28T20:47:00.004+08:00

While I was jogging!!!

Today's been a great day actually. Ate MAC SPICY MEAL and yes this time my drinks didnt dropped. And I pretty much clean half of my room. ^^ Quite happy. Oh and I managed to jog forawhile again at ponggol new park. They building pool cafe and also prawning!!!

And then I also watched a few documentaries about people suffering from ADHD. Its saddening to see how those families go through their daily lives. Its like we get hyper occasionally from time to time but for them, who suffer those disorder, they can't control it and they need to take medication forever. But they still do not give up on life. Its amazing to see people who are suffering from it continue living their normal lives.

TMR CAMPZ AND I AM SO EXCITED. ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAD ANY CAMPZ.
SHALL SLEEP EARLY LATER ^^

LOVING THIS SONG FROM AVRIL ,Darlin

Darling
you 're hiding in the closet once again,
start smiling
I know you're trying
real hard not to turn your head away
pretty darling
face tomorrow, tomorrow is not yesterday
Yesterday oh oooooh

2011-03-28T14:34:00.002+08:00

AND I CANT STAND HOW MY MIND IS FILLED WITH NEG THOUGHTS LATELY..

i have to believe I'm here for a reason..

Day 4

2011-03-28T00:50:00.003+08:00

Been trying to clean my room but not been progressing well. Rot the whole day today.
Caught a lovely rainbow infront of my house in the evening and also I dropped my bubble tea otw home from the mall. Bought pens to doodle.

Day 4.
RUBBISH that being collected just now.

Hope things get better.

2011-03-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes I feel extremely disconnected. Like I don’t fit in this world. I feel like I was born at the wrong time and I just don’t belong."

One Tree Hill

Remember when

2011-03-26T21:56:00.002+08:00

I remember when it was together till the end
Now I'm alone again
Where do I begin?
I cried a little bit
You died a little bit
Please say there's no regrets
And say you won't forget
But I'm not lost
I'm not gone
I haven't forgot

I hate how holidays leaving me nothing and nowhere to go.

Day 3

2011-03-26T10:58:00.002+08:00

Karma gonna be a bitch for you

2011-03-26T00:33:00.002+08:00

I'm tired of being in this life. Tired of being me. Tired that I'm always facing problems one after another. Tired of putting a strong front. Tired of acting like everything gonna be okay. I wish I could be someone else. I wish I could just disappeared. I'm tired of being not good enough for everyone even for myself. Why do I always expect alot from myself. And all i get is a disappointment. Always. Someday I think I gonna just explode into tiny pieces and then evaporate into thin air. I'm tired of this shit. I always pray that one day, everything gonna be okay and everyday I wait. And wait and nothing happens.

Stop judging.

Pressing the delete button on my keyboard for countless of times.

I need to stay away from people who judge alot.

2011-03-10T00:22:00.001+08:00

I NEED TO STAY HAPPY.
I NEED TO STAY HAPPY.
I NEED TO STAY HAPPY.

2011-03-09T13:45:00.001+08:00

whats happening to me? I dont want another relapse. Pls pls dont.

2011-03-04T04:04:00.004+08:00

I think I'm losing myself. I'm afraid its gonna be another rerun happening and I don't think I could do another relapse again. No. Not during this crucial time. I need to be strong. Oh God please help me pull this shitz through. And i felt that I am being disconnected to the people around me. And I could only blame myself for building this four walls around me instead of bridges. And that's so typical of me whenever I met optical that hit me .

2011-02-27T18:17:00.003+08:00

I really need to get off this guilty so that i could move on with life. Its like killing me everyday . Oh God :(

2011-02-26T21:28:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i wonder where do i turn to when I'm losing my ground.

2011-02-16T18:48:00.000+08:00

I wake up in the mornin'
Put on my face
The one that's gonna get me
Through another day
Doesn't really matter
How I feel inside
This life is like a game sometimes

Then you came around me
The walls just dissapeared
Nothin' to surround me
Keep me from my fears
I'm unprotected
See how I've opened up
You've made me trust

Cause I've never felt like this before
I'm naked around you
Does it show?
You see right through me
And I can't hide
I'm naked around you
And it feels so right

2011-02-05T01:40:00.002+08:00

I feel like an old lazy boy. Wasted the day doing practically nothing beside watching 2 movies and also cleaning up my room plus getting all excited for tmr's new year visiting. Later, I need to make my passport since its invalid cause my face looked different from the passport. OMG I FEEL OLD. And tmr , I will be 19. And its like 366 days to hit the 20s. How i wish i could be forever 18.

So anyway later gonna be a long day and i gonna spend my night doing my abstract painting.

Btw happy chinese new year people :)

Learn to appreciate

2011-02-02T01:40:00.001+08:00

NEED A TIME TO BLOG .IM SO USED OF NOT WRITING FULL SENTENCES THAT IT stop me from blogging.

Day 3

2011-01-30T00:46:00.001+08:00

I'm not sure what you're going to throw at me.
I'm sure it's not always what I want it to be.
I'm sure it will come unexpectedly,
But I'm not the type to intercede.

Give me your worst,
I'll be fine because I been through so much.
I've learned only time
Can heal a broken heart and a wounded mind.

So c'mon life, what are you waiting for?
I'm ready for whatever you got in store;
All the hurt and all the pain,
I know I'm going to feel it someday.

So Dear life,
Throw whatever is in sight.
I promise you,
I'll be all right.
Julia Smith

Day 2

2011-01-28T06:56:00.001+08:00

I'm dying from assignment. But ending soon! Whatever happened i know that I didnt give up!!!

After this, TOWN.

Day 1

2011-01-25T01:56:00.001+08:00

Mind fucking up. Fuck this life of mine sometimes.
gn
http://thatsnaqib.tumblr.com/

2011-01-24T00:08:00.001+08:00

Day 01 - A picture of yourself
Day 02 - A picture of what you wore today
Day 03 - A picture of what you did today
Day 04 - A picture of where you went today
Day 05 - A picture of your morning
Day 06 - A picture that inspires you
Day 07 - A picture that makes you cry
Day 08 - A picture of yourself
Day 09 - A picture of what you had for lunch
Day 10 - A picture of what you like to do
Day 11 - A picture of your favorite drink
Day 12 - A picture of your favorite food
Day 13 - A picture of your friends
Day 14 - A picture of your favorite teacher(s)
Day 15 - A picture of yourself
Day 16 - A picture of your dream cell phone
Day 17 - A picture of your mp3 player
Day 18 - A picture of your room
Day 19 - A picture of your favorite musical instrument(s)
Day 20 - A picture of where you want to honeymoon
Day 21 - A picture that makes you think of your loved one
Day 22 - A picture of yourself
Day 23 - A picture that describes your life
Day 24 - A picture of what you did today
Day 25 - A picture that you edited
Day 26 - A picture that makes you angry
Day 27 - A picture of you more than 10 years ago
Day 28 - A picture of what you wore today
Day 29 - A picture of yourself
Day 30 - A picture of you and your best friend

too tired to understand people's mind.

2011-01-22T02:04:00.004+08:00

Lets play the game of life. Starts now.

Its funny that when you always think that things have been going well, something have to happen. Its like there's a curse in me that I cannot stay happy even for awhile. And I get so used to it that it don't bother me much when shit happened. But sometimes I envy to people who are blessed with everything around them. And I wondered when will this curse stop. Its like a nightmare but the differences is that I'm living this nightmare. Real life. My life is a nightmare. Maybe I'm having this thoughts cause I'm depressed. I procrastinate too much. And the work that pilling up is not a funny matter anymore. I need to do something about it.

I am tired of holding back what I wanna do cause I'm worried of the outcome from the actions that I wanna do. I am afraid. Afraid to do things that make me happy. Cause I know at the end of the day, Shitz will happened and I will go back to square 1. Just like few years ago..

just another day wasted.

2011-01-15T19:25:00.003+08:00

Just another typical day that I wasted once again without knowing what to do right now or the day after. I always hate the weekends. And I hate how I'm always unsure about what my assignments about and this questions me if I'm really interested in the course that i am in. Is this what I want? Is this what i gonna see myself doing in 10 years time. I have no idea. All i know that everyday there's new questions of doubt about why I am in Design course.

How i wish that the rain will not just appeared out of the blue and leaving me drench.

Have a great weekend. :)

What the hell???

2011-01-12T23:38:00.003+08:00

Took a nice walk at ponggol neighborhood and find myself worn out after 10 minutes of walking. So i gave up and took the LRT and went to a nearby mall hoping to settle my dinner there. Then, I realised that there's nothing there. So head back to Rivervale Mall and I tried the salmon grilled at ljs. Which sucks btw. Cause its 10 bucks just because i changed to hot tea. They also took the wrong order. I said clearly I wanted FRIES and they GAVE ME chips. WTF? I only realised that when I reached home. ARGH.. SO now I Officially announced that LONG JOHN SILVER SUCKS. \0/ .
Oh i took a few photos. Will upload as soon as i got the time.

So thats settle my day. Tomorrow would be the start of assignment 1.

NEW year Photo. :)

Britney new song Hold it against me. GOING TO REACH NUMBER 1! k bye.

you feel like paradise and i need some vacation now

2011-01-11T10:16:00.004+08:00

Days like this I wish it would not come back that often. I hate being sick. Cause I feel terrible. I still remember when i was still young i kept getting sick. And when I was in primary school one of my friend said to me" eh you everyday sick is it. Why every time I see you in school you got flu" Wah damn sad. I was a very unhealthy kid back then. And every since I came to design, I tend to get sick easily again. I think this is due to the lack of sleep I guess.

anyway I took a two days off from the world.Time for myself. Me myself and I.

Gn.

I am very fortunate to have friends that care for me and I know they will always be there for me.

1

2011-01-09T20:35:00.003+08:00

I know this might sound so cliche or anything but I feel like blogging again and am gonna start by posting up a picture a day. Lately I cant seemed to write my thoughts in words so Whatever i type now don't makes sense, to me at least. So I shall make it simple. And this is the first post of the year and life have been kinda cranky for now. Hope that things are gonna get better. Gonna have internet in the next 2 days at home , finally.I survived the new year without internet for like 1 week? oh My birthday coming soon! ^^

so anyway have a great week:)

2010-12-29T22:02:00.002+08:00

new year resolution!!!

next year i hope that i could be more organised and also alble to meet up with my closed friends more often

2010-12-26T23:26:00.000+08:00

2010 is coming to an end. Cheers to the new year.

2010-12-26T03:56:00.002+08:00

I fucking hate how i always hold back on things i wanna say and im always forever holding back to everything. I'm so caught up of being afraid to be judged upon that I am always find myself pushing everyone away.

2010-12-07T01:33:00.001+08:00

I'm not ready. but maybe tmr?

you are more important. cause you're playing the biggest role in your life.

2010-11-29T23:06:00.002+08:00

have you ever felt like this?
Like you're not in control of your own happiness and its always other people that control how your day gonna be.

I feel like I have it worst

I need to stop being all jaded up and start to think happy thoughts again..

so whats makes me happy?

Life's too short to be sitting around being miserable

2010-11-09T03:46:00.004+08:00

" Live life to the fullest while you can or else you live for nothing. Waiting too long could mean it's too late." Kaitlin S.

Today been quite a day. Had my 1st vpress presentation and i SCREW it UP. I have been a very lazy boy and always do last minute work. Tmr I need to complete ALOT of drawing(S). Wish me luck.

How i wish I could JUST take photos as my future job and each photos cost a thousands. HA ! Wishful thinking of me.

HERE how eric looked before perm. I somehow liked his curly hair rather than his straight hair !^^

GOODNIGHT.

Thank is you.

2010-11-07T13:00:00.002+08:00

The pile of work keep going up and up and the amount of work completed remain stagnant. I'm so pissed with myself for letting my laziness get the best of me. Tmr submission for vpress and I have yet complete my moodboard. Well its half done but it NEEDS more IMPROVEMENT. I need to ace this.

And on a side note, I'm very lucky to have awesome poly friends who been helping me with work stuffs and everything.

work later. and tonight I shall just finish up my vpress stuff and tmr I will do my sketches.

NOW:27 sketches ^^ half way to go !!!!

I was fine before you came

2010-11-07T03:10:00.002+08:00

Thanks for making me realized how much someone can be so heartless.

Raise your GLASS

2010-11-06T03:06:00.003+08:00

" You have three choices in life: Give up, Give in, or Give it your all. Go ahead and make your choice."

Was Out with the guys yesterday and naise time crapping with each other and them bullying me. NABEI CHEEBYE KNN. Saw alot of familair faces at town also. ANYway, Tmr got morning class at BOTANIC garden :( sadboy1992 . I hate how my saturday gonna be spoiled due to this. might head back to school to do finished up my sketches. I NEED MORE MONEY!!!!!

Retarded boy 1993. He followed us to take purple line and then orange line to accompany me and yide . HAHAH nice friend i got.

Kbye.

2010-11-04T17:01:00.001+08:00

Fuckin' Perfect Lyrics

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated this place
Misunderstood
Miss knowing it's all good
It didnt slow me down.

Mistaking
Always second guessing
Underestimating
Look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please
Dont you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than
Fucking perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing
You're fucking perfect to me

You're so mean
When you talk
About yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head

Make them like you instead
So complicated
Look how we all make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game

It's enough
I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons
I've seen you do the same

Oh

The whole worlds scared
So I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking
Is an ice cold beer

So cool in line
And we try, try, try
But we try too hard
http://www.elyricsworld.com/fuckin'_perfect_lyrics_pink.html
And it's a waste of my time

Done looking for the critics
Cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans
They don't get my hair

Exchange ourselves
And we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

Yeeeeaaaahhh
Oooooooh
Oh baby pretty please

You're perfect, you're perfect

Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing
You're fucking perfect to me